Who are you...really?
Identity cannot just encompass the roles we play.
Hey there, Family!
Question: Who are you?
Yes, I’m really asking.
Mostly because I’ve been thinking about identity and how we come to be who we are in this world. So many of us have linked our identities to what we do (“I am a writer”) or who we are to other people (“I am a mother. I am a wife.”).
I’m not sure that’s the move, Friends.
All those roles we take on in life are important. Critical even. They certainly INFORM who we are. But they aren’t the core of who we are created beings. And I’m not sure those roles are what we should define ourselves by.
Why not?
Well…the hard truth is this: at any point, these roles can go away. If I become ill and can no longer write, am I no longer myself? Do I no longer have value? If, God forbid, I’m no longer a wife, do I no longer have an identity that’s wholly my own?
This is complicated, I know. Probably because we live in a society that demands we align what we do with who we are. It’s why so many empty-nesters or retirees struggle after their children leave home or they leave their jobs. They’ve bought the lie that their worth and identity was inextricably linked to those roles that are no longer there.
How we see ourselves absolutely impacts how we heal.
So what if we shift the way we think? What if I am a whole, creative, thinker who happens to write? What if I am a deeply sensitive Black woman who mothers a gifted child? What if I am a sensual, engaging, child of God who happens to be someone’s partner/wife?
This way, if any of the roles change, for whatever reason, my identity remains intact.
Love y’all. 💜
tmlg
“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” – Audre Lorde
The Black Joy Playbook - Publication Date: 10/29/24 - PRE-ORDER NOW!
Oh you thought I was done?!
Nah…we now have a COVER for the new jawn, Family. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
The Black Joy Playbook releases October 29th. Pre-order now.
I cannot wait.
I’ll say it again….it’s one thing to read the essays and stories in my book, BLACK JOY: STORIES OF RESISTANCE, RESILIENCE, and RESTORATION. Yes, please do. 👏🏾👏🏾 But it’s another thing entirely to have a place on the page to work out YOUR OWN joy journey. 🗣️ 🗣️Let’s gooo!
BLACK JOY PLAYBOOK: 30 DAYS OF INTENTIONALLY RECLAIMING YOUR DELIGHT (Ink and Willow/Waterbrook/Penguin Random House) is a guided journal and devotional that will walk you thru a 30 day process of reclaiming your joy.
PRE-ORDER YOURS TODAY VIA LINK IN BIO!
Book Description:
We have an ancestral mandate to hold not just the pain and trauma of our experiences as Black people, but to hold the joy and love and peace that is also ours.
Joy is a weapon, not only for resistance, but also a means for healing—a powerful tool that is all-encompassing and necessary. The Black Joy Playbook helps you mine your memories to discover what joy looks and feels like to you and then guides you to re-create it in your present-day life.
Divided into several themes—joy in the body, joy in the breath, joy in the tears, joy in the laughter, and joy in the every day—each of the thirty entries includes the following:
• a short inspiration
• questions for reflection
• a meditation
• space for contemplation
• suggestions for how to choose joy
There are also special sections highlighting the cultural animation of Black Joy and sharing stories of Black Joy in history.
It’s time to cultivate joy from the inside out!