Perfection is not a thing
How can we be okay with where we are--even as we wait for what's to come?
Hey Friend!
I have a question for you: Have you ever gotten stuck in the trap of perfectionism? *raises my own hand*
Yep, me too.
The holiday season is a time, I think, when many of us feel especially prone to this. We are told by the media and consumer culture that we need to buy our children the latest and greatest toys. OR, we become frantic because we haven’t checked off all those goals we had on our New Year’s resolution lists and vision boards. OR, we think our homes have to look a certain way before we invite our families (and possibly their judgement?) over for dinner. Some of us have bought the lie that our lives have to look a certain way, and if they don’t, we somehow have failed. We believe that we have to “hustle for our worthiness” when here’s the truth: We don’t.
We really don’t, y’all.
You are already enough.
What would it look like to show yourself some compassion? Self-compassion is something that often feels like a luxury. This is especially true for Black, Brown and Indigenous people, women, and other folks who have been marginalized by our culture. We are so busy caring for other people or overextending ourselves trying to prove our value that showing grace and compassion to ourselves doesn’t ever make our to-do lists.
I’ve also come to realize that even more than 47 year old Tracey, it’s truly the 5 year old in me—that little girl in the pic up top—who needs to hear words of compassion. Because it was at that age that I first believed I had to perform for my worth. And babygirl is still trying to do her dance. I’ve actually gone as far as printing a picture of Little Tracey and speaking words to her like “you are enough” and “it’s not your fault” and “you are loved” directly.
Maybe before the year is out you’ll give that a try? Let’s see if we can release ourselves from the need to be perfect in any and everything.
Love you,
tmlg
Something to sit with
Start where you ARE, Friend, not where you think you SHOULD be. This season—especially in light of the isolation that can come for some of us who might be grieving during the holidays—might be inviting us to sit with ourselves like never before. I know there is a desire to leap forward to your healing because the liminal, in-between place is SO uncomfortable. But that’s not how it works, Love. Start here. Start now. Exactly where you are. Extend yourself some grace. All you have is this moment. Just do the next right thing for you.
“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
- Maya Angelou